Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
