Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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