I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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