try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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