Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
