Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
two words...techno handjob
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
