God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
