Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
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