and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
