i already hear my dad disowning me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
