I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize