I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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