The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
