You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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