i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There r osticjed everywhere
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
