Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry yamdrew hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat

Fav 11 3254 1448
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.

Fav 14 6312 1472
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(785): View more from Kansas

Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.

Fav 15 6085 1521
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.

Fav 8 3659 1018
share tweet
(757): View more from Virginia

some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.

Fav 9 3724 1203
share tweet
(320): View more from Minnesota

What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.

Fav 12 2983 1176
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(715): View more from Wisconsin

Why do you need me to cover for work?

(608): View more from Wisconsin

I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.

Fav 8 1413 985
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(952): View more from Minnesota

Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?

Fav 4 141 338
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.

Fav 0 10 20
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT