doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize