the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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