guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize