Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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