it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
