i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
