Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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