But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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