dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
