I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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