Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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