If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
