I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Randomize
