This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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