Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
