I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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