It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
