Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Someone signed my nipple.
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