Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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