And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
