I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
