Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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