You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize