what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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