hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
