I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
