I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
this just has baby written all over it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
