It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
