I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
