Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize