is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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