someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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