toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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