margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Randomize
