Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well I just put wine in my tea
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
