woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
