It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Your cock deserves a montage
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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