Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
