Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
