Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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