i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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