I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
